Rei Cooper: The Great Time Theft
by Karyra
Summary: Rei Cooper JUST recovered from her last adventure. Next up, Ancient Egypt, time hopping, and a break in the verses. I guess this verse isn't the same as the first.
1. Happy Birthday

Rei Cooper: The Great Time Theft

Chapter 1: Happy Birthday (In the Space Time Continuum)

One week ago

**(Gah! Forgot the disclaimer!**

**I own the idea of Rei Cooper, Bryce, and Murph. However, the idea of Sly Cooper and the Thievious Raccoonus nor do I own Henritta Cooper, Slytankamen the Second, nor do I gain any monetary value from it. The list may expand.)  
**

_ A call came in on Michel Fox's phone, and he answered it without hesitation._**  
"**_Hello?" He said, still bouncing the ball against the wall in his office._**  
"**_There have been reports of raccoon sightings in west china. Sir... do you think it's her?" Said the Interpol officer on the other side._**  
"**_On my way." Michel said, grinning happily._**  
**That was a few weeks ago. Michel Fox, AKA Michel Rechin, the fox inspector who has risen through the ranks by taking down every big name you can think of, searched for Rei Cooper, a notorious thief who was unfortunately unconscious at the time. Rei Cooper was well known for taking down Clock-la for the third and final time, and her story is perhaps the most tragic of the entire Cooper clan's history.**  
**At the age of ten, Rei Cooper witnessed her parents' murder, and had been orphaned. It was also her birthday at the time. No one knew this, no one had even asked, and a week from this day, this very special day, was Rei Cooper's birthday. It is also when Rei traveled to the far past, recent past, and the near future.**  
**But I'm fairly certain you want to hear about the birthday more right? No? Fine.._._

Now

Five seconds. I pressed a button hidden in the wraps on my arm to activate the small burners on my finger tips. A quick circle sliced through the window and I was in. Three seconds. No time to dally with lasers. I scanned the floor for the infrared sensors, looking for the dust particles that would float through the beam, revealing its location. I closed my hand, only just remembering that the burners were still active. Another press and they were off. Two seconds.**  
**Five lasers, each horizontal and one foot apart. I ran toward it head on, diving through the lasers without setting off the alarm. This place wasn't the same system as many I had seen, where the lasers would fry you to a crisp the second they see you. Alright, I have five more seconds to get through that door, and downstairs before I'm caught. I reach into my bag to grab the lockpicks already stashed there. Slipping each tool into my palm, I picked the lock quickly. I have no seconds. I'm behind by a second even.**  
**I notice that I'm standing next to a rail that should lead down to the next floor. That would make up the missing second. Without even thinking, I jump up, spin, point my toes, and land within the few seconds I had given myself. One second. I land carefully on the floor, kicking up very little dust. There it is. The gold statue of Ra, said by many that it was lost to time. No, this guy just wanted it to himself. It would be worth the time spent to upgrade my gear and sneak in to see his face when it went missing.**  
**Seven lasers horizontal, arranged in the lines on the tile floor and six vertical forming a cage around it. Good, I wanted a challenge. I planted my hand in the center of the tile, doing several cartwheels -mostly for flair- over to the laser cage, standing on one hand, I pulled from my leg pouch a small bug, designed to deactivate to lasers by sending the main receiver a feedback loop, or something like that. I watched it crawl between the two beams, almost holding my breath. I was determined to have this job go better than the last few, and I had the scars to prove that will.**  
"**Come on..." I whispered under my breath, hoping desperately not to be shot at this time.**  
**A click signaled the lasers should be down. I activate the infrared mode in the mask hidden beneath the hood. All clear. I have a minute until a guard comes down here to investigate. I press the button to activate the burners again as I stand fully on the floor. I trace a circle several times until the glass melts away, and turn off the burners so as to not melt the statue of the tiny Sun God. The tiny figure had the head of a hawk and the body of some strange creature we had not ever encountered. It was said that it fell from space, and that it was not made of gold, but of some other material. The sun floated above the head, like some kind of giant crown. I reach for it with my left hand, feeling for pressure plates with my right. As my fingers brushed the gold, an involuntary shiver went through me. Months of planning coming to culmination at last! It felt so cold to the touch, and every molecule screamed to me.**  
'**Save me!' It said.**  
**And I obliged, gripping the torso of the figurine. I slid it out of the case, and into my bag, where I grabbed a small cartoon raccoon face, shaped like a football, but with blue on top and two points jutting up like ears. And two light blue eyes stared back, it was all propped up with a small paper stand behind it. A calling card, to clue in my two favorite InterPol agents as well to let the criminal owner of the statue know that he wasn't safe, and no amount of money or security will keep me from robbing him blind again. I began to leave, walking toward a vent that would only work one way, leading to the party downstairs. Or at least the bathroom which held a window. As the sweatshirt-like fabric folded in, it allowed me to move in, sliding along, almost like a penguin on its stomach.**  
**After inhaling several pounds of dust, I thought I had made it to the bathroom. I had instead made it to the boardroom. Before leaping down, I checked the exit to see two people in the room, and from the looks of it, it was very vital to whatever they were doing. So I stayed put and waited.**  
"**Avio, we can't stall any longer. If we do, we risk exposure and the plan will be ruined." Said the dressed up dog in a suit. I recognized him as the owner of the priceless statue in my bag. Mr. Vile.**  
**From the other side of the room, a small bird answered. "No, when it is finished we shall end them all. We will not have anyone meddle. I have seen the future with my own eyes Mr. Vile. I know we shall succeed in killing the family line of that upstart." It seethed with condescension and hate.

"_Who's family line I wonder."_

I leaned in, fully immersed in their conversation.**  
"**But, what if-"**  
"**No buts! It _will_happen." The sound of a motor was heard and a small perch with a bird sitting upon it rolled up. "But such things are too easily heard with walls with ears. Come, let us enjoy what is now."**  
**With that they left, and I was left to wonder.

"_I'd like to say the Cooper clan... but seriously, I destroyed the bird that went psycho and tried to kill me... I don't think I've earned any hatred outside of that..."_

A sneeze was swelling up, some dust had found their way up my nose and I was now left sitting there, holding my breath and trying not to call attention to myself. Which I'm pretty sure is bad. I quickly pull my hood back up, and the metal mask concealed in the fabric rises to conceal my mouth and nose like a ninja. No time to be giddy about using it now, I have to leave. A rhino guard has just come in, it looks like he forgot something. Something like the keycard I stole from him a few hours before the party. I should leave before I actually-**  
"**Ah-choo!" I sneeze, loud enough for the guard to look up and see my face through the bars. My sneezes have _perfect_ timing.**  
**He reaches for his gun through the suit jacket and I launch myself through the grates, as well as battle back my tongue as I want to scream at him for not saying 'bless you'.**  
**Be serious Rei. Thousands of guards, all have guns, and they all know what you look like now. Serious stuff. Thieving is serious business. As my mind wanders off, I wonder how many video games I could buy on the black market with the money from this statue.**  
**All too soon, I slam into the gate at the end of the vent, and into the wall beyond it. Dammit, they'll know I came in here now. So much for stealth. It was nice knowing me. I then notice the window, and I smile, clambering up from my position on the floor and flipping the window lock back to unlock the window and escape. I leap through the window on the fourth floor without even thinking, and the parachute activates over me, allowing for a safe glide to the street. I drift steadily toward the window of the next building, hands free to grab and pull myself back up onto the familiar rooftop view of Gansu Province, China.**  
"**How'd the translation software work?" Asks a nervous voice in my ear.**  
"**Like a charm." I reply back to Bryce, not thinking of the repercussions.**  
**Silence replied. Ever since Jia died, and he figured out -I told him- Jia had a crush on Bryce, he's been studying Voodoo, wicca, and whatever else I can steal/buy/loan for him. My mind drifted back to the dark alleyway... and I was snapped back via gunshot.**  
"**No time to talk!" I yell, diving onto the next rooftop.**  
"**Only you could get caught in a foolproof plan." Bryce snapped.**  
"**Your plan didn't include the fact they never dust the vents." I snipped back, leaping to the next rooftop as the sirens began to wail in the distance.**  
"**I'm not the one who didn't put up the mask earlier."**  
"**Oh can it Bryce," I replied, snatching out a hook-shaped knife from the pouch on my back. I snagged it on a wire hanging between two buildings and lowered myself to the nearest window. "You need to get out more. I'm starting to worry that the cheeto dust on you will eventually turn into a real stain." Bryce was currently holed up in an apartment far away, speaking to me through an earwig.**  
**There was long strangled cry from where I had just run from. It was like someone was angry, but it held a finality to it, like it was the last breath they would ever draw. Like my parent's cries as they went down, each emitting a final sigh, and leaving this plane. Only Kenji and I remember the outcome, which set us on careening paths, each set to the other way. Kenji is the 'upstanding citizen' of my family, ironic since I come from a line of thieves that have been around since the ancient egyptian times. It had to come sometime, but I guess now works too. Since Kenji knows all the laws that we break -he's trying to get in law school- we usually try to give him an example of breaking it when he has trouble with any such law. Typically to help him understand exactly what each law entails.**  
**Its not that I don't love my brother, he's just had issues due to some mental imbalance. Naturally the only reason Harvard wouldn't take him was due to him currently being inside of an asylum in America. And he's not going to be accepted anytime soon either. At best he could be a paralegal. Also, I can't visit him due to my favorite cop, Michel Fox, having a sudden, personal interest in my brother's case. So we send him little videotapes when we can, trying to keep him in the loop minus actually getting in trouble with the law.**  
"**That's physically impossible for dust to become a stain. It would mean fusing to your shirt." Bryce retaliated, and I could hear him move to brush something off. Cheeto dust perhaps?**  
"**What about the woman who got fused to her couch?"**  
**"You lie."**  
"**I looked that up."**  
"**Did not!"**  
"**Fine, I had Murph look it up."**  
"**Do you ever shut up? We heard you from all the way over at Mr. Vile's place." With that I was staring down the barrel of -a well cleaned- shock pistol.**  
"**Occasionally." I replied, hands up and checking for ways out. "I do tend to do so when a guns shoved into my face."**  
"**Not even then raccoon." Said the fluffy white fox holding said pistol in front of my face. I could go back, but no doubt that's the easy way out, and she's anticipated that... probably. Time to do the stupid thing.**  
"**It was nice seeing you!" I yell and hold my hand over my right eyebrow in a mock salute. "Maybe we could chat later." I quickly ran back the way I came, making it look like I was going down to the street to lose her. She quickly followed after and I vaulted over her, snatching a shiny object in her back pocket, back arced and landing on my hands to transition into a roll. "You know, over coffee or something." With that I ran back toward the roof behind me. "Say Ní Hao to Michel Fox for me!" I yelled over my shoulder as she began to register I had just leapt over her, gun and all. **  
"**Wait! You're under arrest?" She asked/commanded.**  
"**No thanks! I've got a statue to deliver!" I yelled back, already ducking into the nearby building's stairway. By now I had hoped she had turned around to chase me. Its been a while since I've had a good chase.**  
**I took the fun way, the railing, gliding along with the help of gravity and watching as the InterPol agent crashed in and watched as I vanished with a silly face on.**  
"**Get back here!" She screamed at the top of the stairs, out of breath and out of patience. I guess they train them to hop across rooftops like ninjas now.**  
"**Sorry! Busy! But if you wanna catch me, you gotta be faster!"I yelled back to her, it wouldn't be fun to lose her just yet. That was when I realized I had stolen her badge when I had leapt over her.**  
"**Fayth Alli huh? She can't be here alone... I've always known cops to move in pairs." And due to my lack of attention I slammed into the wall. "Dammit Rei!" I cursed myself. "This ADHD is gonna kill me one of these days."**  
"**Or maybe get you arrested, Rei Cooper." And there he was, Michel Fox, my favorite InerPol agent.**  
"**Its about time. I've robbed enough rich people's private homes. But you've surely noticed the fact that they were stolen long before I put them back where they belong?" With that, I sprung up, kissed him on the cheek to see his face afterward, and jumped over the rail of the spiral staircase all with a small wink.**  
**I let myself freefall until he peeked his Fox face over the edge and that's when I launched my bungee line past his face, where it connected to the wall behind him and I slid to a slow stop. I gently touched down, closed the hooks on the wire so it slid back into the wraps of my left wrist.**  
"**You like my new gear?" I yelled up to the now steaming mad InterPol agent.**  
**He yelled some very unflattering things back at me. He's kinda cute when he's mad. I disappear into the crowd, and he rushes out of the building, shaking his fist in the air like a cartoon character on one of those saturday morning cartoons. I smile to myself as I look up to see Gansu Provincial Museum looming in front of me. Sweet, sweet victory. And also, happy birthday to me.

*~TheBlueRacoon~*

I swing in through the window, which has been left open for me, and I lower my mask and hood. I shut and lock the window, and walk inside. I leap onto the couch provided, and relax, knowing that I have at least a brief moment before chaos and theft would begin again. Well, at least someone finally picked up on all the clues I had been leaving.**  
**Ahh. Maybe Bryce and I could take a vacation. Gansu is getting boring now. I hear Paris is nice this time of year. I allow myself to relax, and my eyes slam shut.**  
**I was floating in space, safe and drifting along. Scenes are playing in front of my face, my house on fire, Ceyla snapping my parent's necks, and the day I killed Clock-la. You might qualify this as a nightmare right now, but this is normal for me. However, another me came flying out of nowhere -literally- and grabbed my shoulders.**  
"**Do not under any circumstances, _kill_anyone. If you do, everything will be messed up so bad..." She shuddered, "That the time stream cannot be repaired. Don't over-think this, just relax and wake up! Wake up, Rei!"**  
**I snapped to an upright position, grabbing Bryce's neck in defense. "Dammit," I muttered crossly at myself for nearly killing him. Let's just say, I've been busy trying to learn self-defense from a sketchy Southern Mantis style teacher. What can I say, I'm sick of my being able to defend myself. And being kidnapped. Those are on my list.

"Bryce, do _not wake me after a job unless you have a death wish._"**  
**The poor grungy, starved, mouse replied, "We need to head back to Washington."**  
"**Okay." I rubbed my eyes and stretched. "You get the tickets?"**  
"**Yes, as soon as I got the e-mail from Murph."**  
"**How long will it take till takeoff?"**  
"**Twelve hours."**  
**Not quick enough. "How much we have on hand?"**  
"**Five thousand."**  
**And I grinned. It would be enough. "Let's go get our own flight."

*~TheBlueRacoon~*

At last the rickety old plane landed, and we all wobbled out, weary and woozy from the turbulence. But hey, if we hadn't taken the first plane that would take us, then something would probably be very wrong in Murphtown. Not that we were actually going to a town called Murphtown, we went to D.C.**  
**Yeah yeah Bryce I'm getting there, I'm trying to do some decent exposition! Fine, fine. A short car trip later, and we had reached a -and before I say this you might wanna keep your mind open- old abandoned coffee shop. And the forgotten sign hanging over the doorway proclaimed this as 'Herbs Teas and Fleas'. I keep saying we should move to Paris or somewhere better and cooler, but Bryce doesn't want to move some old crummy project of his.**  
**Little did I know, I was about to get caught up in that project. Big time. Literally.**  
"**So what did Murph say was wrong?" I asked as we exited the cab. I was wearing a sweatshirt and slacks to avoid attention. Plus, I kept the wraps from my thief outfit tucked away in the bag slung over my shoulder.**  
"**Not much. Just a garbled message and an explosion. I would say it was from here, but everything's still standing." And a quick glance told me no traps went off while we were traveling. And the front door was still open.**  
**Now, open front doors normally signal death, robbery, or something bad is going to happen -especially on TV. But, we left it open as a sign that everything was okay. It was also rigged to a dozen booby traps, all of which close the door when activated. And another would remove the planks from the windows and turn the name into 'Teas, Fleas, and Herbs' it's the subtle things that people never notice on the street. I usually take an effort to notice these things now, since they usually mean a difference between a _good_thief and a _squashed_thief. I once noticed that a guy had been picking his nose on a certain street at five 'o clock AM every day in an attempt to hide the vulgar habit.**  
"**Well, if its not here, then... where was he transmitting from? If he-"**  
**I was interrupted by a flying hippo hug. Patent pending.**  
"**You're back! I'msohappyIcan'tbelieveyou'redonesofast!" I was gasping for air, a 'side-effect' of Murph's bear hugs. Bryce was slowly backing away, self-preservation and adrenaline at its peak. **  
**At last Murph released his grip and I managed to wheeze and cough some air back into my lungs. Meanwhile, Murph had Bryce in his grasp. Even the strongest man in the world's punch would have had me less winded. "Looks like somebody's all right..."**  
"**Why wouldn't I be?" Murph asked, innocent and naive as usual. "Did you guys get a transmission or something like that from me? 'Cuz I never sent one out."**  
"**Eeessss..." Bryce wheezed from between Murph's mountains of muscles. Strange that an artist can be so strong.**  
"**Oh. Sorry." Murph gently placed Bryce back on the concrete. But Bryce was still formed to the contours of the hug. His back was arched and his arms were splayed out in a spectacular, if not, melodramatic fashion.**  
"**Oh get over it Bryce, I got one too and I'm still standing. Well, almost. I think I cracked a rib or two when he hugged me." I joked.**  
**It didn't go over so well.**  
"**Rei! You've only been awake for barely even two weeks!" Bryce panicked, now running over to check for injuries. "Your ribs have only just healed from the beating you took from Clock-la!"**  
"**Hey hey. Listen, I'm fine. No problems here!" I waved Bryce off.

"_Although, I'm still aching from that hug. Its nothing though, I've been hurt a lot worse than this before."_

"Still, I think we should go inside and check up on it." I still think its because he wanted to check up his project.**  
****"**Fine." I relented and I stepped forward, punching the well hidden button next to the open door while avoiding the tense brittle wires surrounding it. All at once, the wires relaxed, the traps disabled. I walked inside, pushing the door in to see the abandoned interior, the herbs had long since rotted, making the sweet smell sour. "Are you sure we can't move? It smells like rotten egg salad in here."** "**There's no 'salad' part in egg salad." Bryce countered.**  
**But we'll skip the rest of this conversation due to a need to get to the point. I quickly pressed another button under the counter, apparently the previous owner was more paranoid than we were and had a trapdoor behind the counter. We guessed that it was for holding money or valuables, seeing how it was safe-sized, and several pennies had been found pressed against the lining, so we assumed that we were correct in guessing so. We quickly dug it out, and made a sort of cave -we also hit a hidden cave system, we're not that strong or patient- and set ourselves up here. Murph is the main user nowadays, but Bryce usually comes down there with his weird tools and spends hours down there, when he wasn't patching me up or in China. But, he kept muttering about something that I could never quite make out.**  
****"**Ah. Home sweet Lair." I felt the echo reverberate around the cave that we hadn't quite finished exploring yet. "That's really creepy."

"Can we get on with this already!" Screamed a voice from deep in the depths of the cave.

"What. Was. _THAT._**" **I half whispered, half yelled to Bryce and Murph, both of whom were now coming down the stairs now, and I tried to signal that something was wrong. "I take barely even a few days off, blue sparkles appear, someone hires me for the little statuette, and nowoh _now _I get attacked in my own lair. Come out and don't even think about one of those stupid little darts! I'm so _sick_of those!" Of course, as I was saying this, I had clicked the strap off, and started to wrap my arms in the blue bandages specially made to prevent me from injuring myself. "Why do you think I wear baggy clothes?"**  
**I heard an echo like 'stupid wibbly wobby timey wimey crap...'**  
****"**Stop talking to yourself and come out before I get irritated." I growled at the disembodied voice.**  
****"**Okay, you're not gonna find this much help right now, but..." My eye twitched.

"_That voice sounds... a little familiar."_

"Listen. Come out or I'll come get you out." I replied, cracking my knuckles and generally looking awesome.

"_I sound awesome!"_

"Okay listen, I'm coming out! Do _not do anything I would do!_**" **Replied the disembodied voice.**  
**But instead of surrendering, I was forcibly shoved into the box in front of me, falling into a hollow area and slamming into the back of it.

"_Ow..."_

I heard a chirp and a shadow was in front of some panel which illuminated the figure's gloves. **  
"**What are you-?" I barely asked before it felt like someone had grabbed my hood and yanked me backwards.**  
**And suddenly I landed -roughly- on a sandy hill.

"_Cute, Bryce built a teleporter."_

I stood up to get my bearings, only to discover a long and dry desert in front of me. It was so hot just standing there that I felt like I was going to be cooked alive before I even took five steps.**  
**Please insert expletive of your choice here.

*~TheBlueRacoon~*

Karyra: Whew. The ending sucks, but I really wanted some wibbley wobbly timey wimey. (Kudos to those who get the reference.)**  
**Rei: When did I become so awesome?**  
**Karyra: You get to be awesome for one chapter.**  
**Michel: If she's time hopping do I...?**  
**Karyra: Not unless wibbley wobbly timey wimey is involved. Now stop pouting!

As usual please review below!

Rei Cooper: The Great Time Theft

Chapter 1: Happy Birthday (In the Space Time Continuum)

One week ago

_A call came in on Michel Fox's phone, and he answered it without hesitation._**  
"**_Hello?" He said, still bouncing the ball against the wall in his office._**  
"**_There have been reports of raccoon sightings in west china. Sir... do you think it's her?" Said the Interpol officer on the other side._**  
"**_On my way." Michel said, grinning happily._**  
**That was a few weeks ago. Michel Fox, AKA Michel Rechin, the fox inspector who has risen through the ranks by taking down every big name you can think of, searched for Rei Cooper, a notorious thief who was unfortunately unconscious at the time. Rei Cooper was well known for taking down Clock-la for the third and final time, and her story is perhaps the most tragic of the entire Cooper clan's history.**  
**At the age of ten, Rei Cooper witnessed her parents' murder, and had been orphaned. It was also her birthday at the time. No one knew this, no one had even asked, and a week from this day, this very special day, was Rei Cooper's birthday. It is also when Rei traveled to the far past, recent past, and the near future.**  
**But I'm fairly certain you want to hear about the birthday more right? No? Fine.._._

Now

Five seconds. I pressed a button hidden in the wraps on my arm to activate the small burners on my finger tips. A quick circle sliced through the window and I was in. Three seconds. No time to dally with lasers. I scanned the floor for the infrared sensors, looking for the dust particles that would float through the beam, revealing its location. I closed my hand, only just remembering that the burners were still active. Another press and they were off. Two seconds.**  
**Five lasers, each horizontal and one foot apart. I ran toward it head on, diving through the lasers without setting off the alarm. This place wasn't the same system as many I had seen, where the lasers would fry you to a crisp the second they see you. Alright, I have five more seconds to get through that door, and downstairs before I'm caught. I reach into my bag to grab the lockpicks already stashed there. Slipping each tool into my palm, I picked the lock quickly. I have no seconds. I'm behind by a second even.**  
**I notice that I'm standing next to a rail that should lead down to the next floor. That would make up the missing second. Without even thinking, I jump up, spin, point my toes, and land within the few seconds I had given myself. One second. I land carefully on the floor, kicking up very little dust. There it is. The gold statue of Ra, said by many that it was lost to time. No, this guy just wanted it to himself. It would be worth the time spent to upgrade my gear and sneak in to see his face when it went missing.**  
**Seven lasers horizontal, arranged in the lines on the tile floor and six vertical forming a cage around it. Good, I wanted a challenge. I planted my hand in the center of the tile, doing several cartwheels -mostly for flair- over to the laser cage, standing on one hand, I pulled from my leg pouch a small bug, designed to deactivate to lasers by sending the main receiver a feedback loop, or something like that. I watched it crawl between the two beams, almost holding my breath. I was determined to have this job go better than the last few, and I had the scars to prove that will.**  
"**Come on..." I whispered under my breath, hoping desperately not to be shot at this time.**  
**A click signaled the lasers should be down. I activate the infrared mode in the mask hidden beneath the hood. All clear. I have a minute until a guard comes down here to investigate. I press the button to activate the burners again as I stand fully on the floor. I trace a circle several times until the glass melts away, and turn off the burners so as to not melt the statue of the tiny Sun God. The tiny figure had the head of a hawk and the body of some strange creature we had not ever encountered. It was said that it fell from space, and that it was not made of gold, but of some other material. The sun floated above the head, like some kind of giant crown. I reach for it with my left hand, feeling for pressure plates with my right. As my fingers brushed the gold, an involuntary shiver went through me. Months of planning coming to culmination at last! It felt so cold to the touch, and every molecule screamed to me.**  
'**Save me!' It said.**  
**And I obliged, gripping the torso of the figurine. I slid it out of the case, and into my bag, where I grabbed a small cartoon raccoon face, shaped like a football, but with blue on top and two points jutting up like ears. And two light blue eyes stared back, it was all propped up with a small paper stand behind it. A calling card, to clue in my two favorite InterPol agents as well to let the criminal owner of the statue know that he wasn't safe, and no amount of money or security will keep me from robbing him blind again. I began to leave, walking toward a vent that would only work one way, leading to the party downstairs. Or at least the bathroom which held a window. As the sweatshirt-like fabric folded in, it allowed me to move in, sliding along, almost like a penguin on its stomach.**  
**After inhaling several pounds of dust, I thought I had made it to the bathroom. I had instead made it to the boardroom. Before leaping down, I checked the exit to see two people in the room, and from the looks of it, it was very vital to whatever they were doing. So I stayed put and waited.**  
"**Avio, we can't stall any longer. If we do, we risk exposure and the plan will be ruined." Said the dressed up dog in a suit. I recognized him as the owner of the priceless statue in my bag. Mr. Vile.**  
**From the other side of the room, a small bird answered. "No, when it is finished we shall end them all. We will not have anyone meddle. I have seen the future with my own eyes Mr. Vile. I know we shall succeed in killing the family line of that upstart." It seethed with condescension and hate.

"_Who's family line I wonder."_

I leaned in, fully immersed in their conversation.**  
"**But, what if-"**  
"**No buts! It _will_happen." The sound of a motor was heard and a small perch with a bird sitting upon it rolled up. "But such things are too easily heard with walls with ears. Come, let us enjoy what is now."**  
**With that they left, and I was left to wonder.

"_I'd like to say the Cooper clan... but seriously, I destroyed the bird that went psycho and tried to kill me... I don't think I've earned any hatred outside of that..."_

A sneeze was swelling up, some dust had found their way up my nose and I was now left sitting there, holding my breath and trying not to call attention to myself. Which I'm pretty sure is bad. I quickly pull my hood back up, and the metal mask concealed in the fabric rises to conceal my mouth and nose like a ninja. No time to be giddy about using it now, I have to leave. A rhino guard has just come in, it looks like he forgot something. Something like the keycard I stole from him a few hours before the party. I should leave before I actually-**  
"**Ah-choo!" I sneeze, loud enough for the guard to look up and see my face through the bars. My sneezes have _perfect_ timing.**  
**He reaches for his gun through the suit jacket and I launch myself through the grates, as well as battle back my tongue as I want to scream at him for not saying 'bless you'.**  
**Be serious Rei. Thousands of guards, all have guns, and they all know what you look like now. Serious stuff. Thieving is serious business. As my mind wanders off, I wonder how many video games I could buy on the black market with the money from this statue.**  
**All too soon, I slam into the gate at the end of the vent, and into the wall beyond it. Dammit, they'll know I came in here now. So much for stealth. It was nice knowing me. I then notice the window, and I smile, clambering up from my position on the floor and flipping the window lock back to unlock the window and escape. I leap through the window on the fourth floor without even thinking, and the parachute activates over me, allowing for a safe glide to the street. I drift steadily toward the window of the next building, hands free to grab and pull myself back up onto the familiar rooftop view of Gansu Province, China.**  
"**How'd the translation software work?" Asks a nervous voice in my ear.**  
"**Like a charm." I reply back to Bryce, not thinking of the repercussions.**  
**Silence replied. Ever since Jia died, and he figured out -I told him- Jia had a crush on Bryce, he's been studying Voodoo, wicca, and whatever else I can steal/buy/loan for him. My mind drifted back to the dark alleyway... and I was snapped back via gunshot.**  
"**No time to talk!" I yell, diving onto the next rooftop.**  
"**Only you could get caught in a foolproof plan." Bryce snapped.**  
"**Your plan didn't include the fact they never dust the vents." I snipped back, leaping to the next rooftop as the sirens began to wail in the distance.**  
"**I'm not the one who didn't put up the mask earlier."**  
"**Oh can it Bryce," I replied, snatching out a hook-shaped knife from the pouch on my back. I snagged it on a wire hanging between two buildings and lowered myself to the nearest window. "You need to get out more. I'm starting to worry that the cheeto dust on you will eventually turn into a real stain." Bryce was currently holed up in an apartment far away, speaking to me through an earwig.**  
**There was long strangled cry from where I had just run from. It was like someone was angry, but it held a finality to it, like it was the last breath they would ever draw. Like my parent's cries as they went down, each emitting a final sigh, and leaving this plane. Only Kenji and I remember the outcome, which set us on careening paths, each set to the other way. Kenji is the 'upstanding citizen' of my family, ironic since I come from a line of thieves that have been around since the ancient egyptian times. It had to come sometime, but I guess now works too. Since Kenji knows all the laws that we break -he's trying to get in law school- we usually try to give him an example of breaking it when he has trouble with any such law. Typically to help him understand exactly what each law entails.**  
**Its not that I don't love my brother, he's just had issues due to some mental imbalance. Naturally the only reason Harvard wouldn't take him was due to him currently being inside of an asylum in America. And he's not going to be accepted anytime soon either. At best he could be a paralegal. Also, I can't visit him due to my favorite cop, Michel Fox, having a sudden, personal interest in my brother's case. So we send him little videotapes when we can, trying to keep him in the loop minus actually getting in trouble with the law.**  
"**That's physically impossible for dust to become a stain. It would mean fusing to your shirt." Bryce retaliated, and I could hear him move to brush something off. Cheeto dust perhaps?**  
"**What about the woman who got fused to her couch?"**  
**"You lie."**  
"**I looked that up."**  
"**Did not!"**  
"**Fine, I had Murph look it up."**  
"**Do you ever shut up? We heard you from all the way over at Mr. Vile's place." With that I was staring down the barrel of -a well cleaned- shock pistol.**  
"**Occasionally." I replied, hands up and checking for ways out. "I do tend to do so when a guns shoved into my face."**  
"**Not even then raccoon." Said the fluffy white fox holding said pistol in front of my face. I could go back, but no doubt that's the easy way out, and she's anticipated that... probably. Time to do the stupid thing.**  
"**It was nice seeing you!" I yell and hold my hand over my right eyebrow in a mock salute. "Maybe we could chat later." I quickly ran back the way I came, making it look like I was going down to the street to lose her. She quickly followed after and I vaulted over her, snatching a shiny object in her back pocket, back arced and landing on my hands to transition into a roll. "You know, over coffee or something." With that I ran back toward the roof behind me. "Say Ní Hao to Michel Fox for me!" I yelled over my shoulder as she began to register I had just leapt over her, gun and all. **  
"**Wait! You're under arrest?" She asked/commanded.**  
"**No thanks! I've got a statue to deliver!" I yelled back, already ducking into the nearby building's stairway. By now I had hoped she had turned around to chase me. Its been a while since I've had a good chase.**  
**I took the fun way, the railing, gliding along with the help of gravity and watching as the InterPol agent crashed in and watched as I vanished with a silly face on.**  
"**Get back here!" She screamed at the top of the stairs, out of breath and out of patience. I guess they train them to hop across rooftops like ninjas now.**  
"**Sorry! Busy! But if you wanna catch me, you gotta be faster!"I yelled back to her, it wouldn't be fun to lose her just yet. That was when I realized I had stolen her badge when I had leapt over her.**  
"**Fayth Alli huh? She can't be here alone... I've always known cops to move in pairs." And due to my lack of attention I slammed into the wall. "Dammit Rei!" I cursed myself. "This ADHD is gonna kill me one of these days."**  
"**Or maybe get you arrested, Rei Cooper." And there he was, Michel Fox, my favorite InerPol agent.**  
"**Its about time. I've robbed enough rich people's private homes. But you've surely noticed the fact that they were stolen long before I put them back where they belong?" With that, I sprung up, kissed him on the cheek to see his face afterward, and jumped over the rail of the spiral staircase all with a small wink.**  
**I let myself freefall until he peeked his Fox face over the edge and that's when I launched my bungee line past his face, where it connected to the wall behind him and I slid to a slow stop. I gently touched down, closed the hooks on the wire so it slid back into the wraps of my left wrist.**  
"**You like my new gear?" I yelled up to the now steaming mad InterPol agent.**  
**He yelled some very unflattering things back at me. He's kinda cute when he's mad. I disappear into the crowd, and he rushes out of the building, shaking his fist in the air like a cartoon character on one of those saturday morning cartoons. I smile to myself as I look up to see Gansu Provincial Museum looming in front of me. Sweet, sweet victory. And also, happy birthday to me.

*~TheBlueRacoon~*

I swing in through the window, which has been left open for me, and I lower my mask and hood. I shut and lock the window, and walk inside. I leap onto the couch provided, and relax, knowing that I have at least a brief moment before chaos and theft would begin again. Well, at least someone finally picked up on all the clues I had been leaving.**  
**Ahh. Maybe Bryce and I could take a vacation. Gansu is getting boring now. I hear Paris is nice this time of year. I allow myself to relax, and my eyes slam shut.**  
**I was floating in space, safe and drifting along. Scenes are playing in front of my face, my house on fire, Ceyla snapping my parent's necks, and the day I killed Clock-la. You might qualify this as a nightmare right now, but this is normal for me. However, another me came flying out of nowhere -literally- and grabbed my shoulders.**  
"**Do not under any circumstances, _kill_anyone. If you do, everything will be messed up so bad..." She shuddered, "That the time stream cannot be repaired. Don't over-think this, just relax and wake up! Wake up, Rei!"**  
**I snapped to an upright position, grabbing Bryce's neck in defense. "Dammit," I muttered crossly at myself for nearly killing him. Let's just say, I've been busy trying to learn self-defense from a sketchy Southern Mantis style teacher. What can I say, I'm sick of my being able to defend myself. And being kidnapped. Those are on my list.

"Bryce, do _not wake me after a job unless you have a death wish._"**  
**The poor grungy, starved, mouse replied, "We need to head back to Washington."**  
"**Okay." I rubbed my eyes and stretched. "You get the tickets?"**  
"**Yes, as soon as I got the e-mail from Murph."**  
"**How long will it take till takeoff?"**  
"**Twelve hours."**  
**Not quick enough. "How much we have on hand?"**  
"**Five thousand."**  
**And I grinned. It would be enough. "Let's go get our own flight."

*~TheBlueRacoon~*

At last the rickety old plane landed, and we all wobbled out, weary and woozy from the turbulence. But hey, if we hadn't taken the first plane that would take us, then something would probably be very wrong in Murphtown. Not that we were actually going to a town called Murphtown, we went to D.C.**  
**Yeah yeah Bryce I'm getting there, I'm trying to do some decent exposition! Fine, fine. A short car trip later, and we had reached a -and before I say this you might wanna keep your mind open- old abandoned coffee shop. And the forgotten sign hanging over the doorway proclaimed this as 'Herbs Teas and Fleas'. I keep saying we should move to Paris or somewhere better and cooler, but Bryce doesn't want to move some old crummy project of his.**  
**Little did I know, I was about to get caught up in that project. Big time. Literally.**  
"**So what did Murph say was wrong?" I asked as we exited the cab. I was wearing a sweatshirt and slacks to avoid attention. Plus, I kept the wraps from my thief outfit tucked away in the bag slung over my shoulder.**  
"**Not much. Just a garbled message and an explosion. I would say it was from here, but everything's still standing." And a quick glance told me no traps went off while we were traveling. And the front door was still open.**  
**Now, open front doors normally signal death, robbery, or something bad is going to happen -especially on TV. But, we left it open as a sign that everything was okay. It was also rigged to a dozen booby traps, all of which close the door when activated. And another would remove the planks from the windows and turn the name into 'Teas, Fleas, and Herbs' it's the subtle things that people never notice on the street. I usually take an effort to notice these things now, since they usually mean a difference between a _good_thief and a _squashed_thief. I once noticed that a guy had been picking his nose on a certain street at five 'o clock AM every day in an attempt to hide the vulgar habit.**  
"**Well, if its not here, then... where was he transmitting from? If he-"**  
**I was interrupted by a flying hippo hug. Patent pending.**  
"**You're back! I'msohappyIcan'tbelieveyou'redonesofast!" I was gasping for air, a 'side-effect' of Murph's bear hugs. Bryce was slowly backing away, self-preservation and adrenaline at its peak. **  
**At last Murph released his grip and I managed to wheeze and cough some air back into my lungs. Meanwhile, Murph had Bryce in his grasp. Even the strongest man in the world's punch would have had me less winded. "Looks like somebody's all right..."**  
"**Why wouldn't I be?" Murph asked, innocent and naive as usual. "Did you guys get a transmission or something like that from me? 'Cuz I never sent one out."**  
"**Eeessss..." Bryce wheezed from between Murph's mountains of muscles. Strange that an artist can be so strong.**  
"**Oh. Sorry." Murph gently placed Bryce back on the concrete. But Bryce was still formed to the contours of the hug. His back was arched and his arms were splayed out in a spectacular, if not, melodramatic fashion.**  
"**Oh get over it Bryce, I got one too and I'm still standing. Well, almost. I think I cracked a rib or two when he hugged me." I joked.**  
**It didn't go over so well.**  
"**Rei! You've only been awake for barely even two weeks!" Bryce panicked, now running over to check for injuries. "Your ribs have only just healed from the beating you took from Clock-la!"**  
"**Hey hey. Listen, I'm fine. No problems here!" I waved Bryce off.

"_Although, I'm still aching from that hug. Its nothing though, I've been hurt a lot worse than this before."_

"Still, I think we should go inside and check up on it." I still think its because he wanted to check up his project.**  
****"**Fine." I relented and I stepped forward, punching the well hidden button next to the open door while avoiding the tense brittle wires surrounding it. All at once, the wires relaxed, the traps disabled. I walked inside, pushing the door in to see the abandoned interior, the herbs had long since rotted, making the sweet smell sour. "Are you sure we can't move? It smells like rotten egg salad in here."** "**There's no 'salad' part in egg salad." Bryce countered.**  
**But we'll skip the rest of this conversation due to a need to get to the point. I quickly pressed another button under the counter, apparently the previous owner was more paranoid than we were and had a trapdoor behind the counter. We guessed that it was for holding money or valuables, seeing how it was safe-sized, and several pennies had been found pressed against the lining, so we assumed that we were correct in guessing so. We quickly dug it out, and made a sort of cave -we also hit a hidden cave system, we're not that strong or patient- and set ourselves up here. Murph is the main user nowadays, but Bryce usually comes down there with his weird tools and spends hours down there, when he wasn't patching me up or in China. But, he kept muttering about something that I could never quite make out.**  
****"**Ah. Home sweet Lair." I felt the echo reverberate around the cave that we hadn't quite finished exploring yet. "That's really creepy."

"Can we get on with this already!" Screamed a voice from deep in the depths of the cave.

"What. Was. _THAT._**" **I half whispered, half yelled to Bryce and Murph, both of whom were now coming down the stairs now, and I tried to signal that something was wrong. "I take barely even a few days off, blue sparkles appear, someone hires me for the little statuette, and nowoh _now _I get attacked in my own lair. Come out and don't even think about one of those stupid little darts! I'm so _sick_of those!" Of course, as I was saying this, I had clicked the strap off, and started to wrap my arms in the blue bandages specially made to prevent me from injuring myself. "Why do you think I wear baggy clothes?"**  
**I heard an echo like 'stupid wibbly wobby timey wimey crap...'**  
****"**Stop talking to yourself and come out before I get irritated." I growled at the disembodied voice.**  
****"**Okay, you're not gonna find this much help right now, but..." My eye twitched.

"_That voice sounds... a little familiar."_

"Listen. Come out or I'll come get you out." I replied, cracking my knuckles and generally looking awesome.

"_I sound awesome!"_

"Okay listen, I'm coming out! Do _not do anything I would do!_**" **Replied the disembodied voice.**  
**But instead of surrendering, I was forcibly shoved into the box in front of me, falling into a hollow area and slamming into the back of it.

"_Ow..."_

I heard a chirp and a shadow was in front of some panel which illuminated the figure's gloves. **  
"**What are you-?" I barely asked before it felt like someone had grabbed my hood and yanked me backwards.**  
**And suddenly I landed -roughly- on a sandy hill.

"_Cute, Bryce built a teleporter."_

I stood up to get my bearings, only to discover a long and dry desert in front of me. It was so hot just standing there that I felt like I was going to be cooked alive before I even took five steps.**  
**Please insert expletive of your choice here.

*~TheBlueRacoon~*

Karyra: Whew. The ending sucks, but I really wanted some wibbley wobbly timey wimey. (Kudos to those who get the reference.)**  
**Rei: When did I become so awesome?**  
**Karyra: You get to be awesome for one chapter.**  
**Michel: If she's time hopping do I...?**  
**Karyra: Not unless wibbley wobbly timey wimey is involved. Now stop pouting!

As usual please review below!


	2. Attempt to Go Back to the Frying Pan

Rei Cooper: The Great Time Theft

Chapter 2: Attempt to Go Back to the Frying Pan

Needless to say that I hate the desert more than any jungle. At least in the jungle you can have water, here out in the dammed desert there is nothing but cacti -if you can find it in this vastness of sand and not-water-filled goodness- with their awful smelling -and tasting- water. It took me a few days the slog to a place where the shade would keep me from melting, and by then my water bottle I had from the airport had been bone dry for a full day.

"_How do adventurers do this? Its hotter than Hell out here and I'm out of water..."_

If I remember correctly, it takes three days to die of dehydration. Three weeks without food would lead to starvation that is, if you had no fat... like me. I had about another day's worth of life before I became buzzard food. The person who dropped me here probably was someone emulating my voice, unless I can be in two places at once, it was the only explanation thus far. I sat out in the shade for a few minutes, waiting for the sun to go down. After about ten minutes, I grabbed my knife and cut the tip off the cacti I was using for shade. I managed to avoid most of the needles and began to pull each off, trying to be able to hold the stupid thing without injuring myself who knows how far away from civilization.

At last I managed to grip it and slurp the juice. It tasted like fruit, but mixed with a little bit of bitterness. Bleck. I forced myself to finish my 'drink' and marched on. You know what would be nice? A good round of butt kicking before I died. I had been wandering away from the pyramid, trying to not call attention to myself, but right now a prison cell was looking by far better than the freaking desert. As I stood up yet again and surveyed my sandy soon-to-be tomb I discovered my footprints had been washed away by the wind, making it impossible to see which direction I had come from. I wasted most of my time cussing out the desert and speed walking toward any sort of landmark I could find.

"_I wish I had the van..."_

Even if I did hate it the first few weeks we had it, I sorely missed the common convenience of which I was deprived. Trust me, when you're stuck in the desert, you're going to sound philosophical to keep your mind off the blisters forming on the soles of your feet. I wonder what happened while I was gone... was Bryce dead? What about Murph? Nah, Byrce was probably fine, and Murph had beaten the snot out of the intruder and they were trying to get me back right now. The smallest spark of hope flared and I walked a little faster.

"_Come to think of it... isn't it better to walk at night because its cooler?"_

I stopped dead. Why hadn't I thought of this sooner? Rather than walk in the hot sun all day, wouldn't it be better to be walking around at night in the dark? Then again without any sort of shade for miles around, walking would be better than sitting there cooking like raccoon flambé. Great, another lose-lose situation. I really shouldn't be whining like a sissy though, I've been through tougher... a quick shake of the head removed any thought of Jia from my mind. I was over it now, and it shouldn't crop up again and make me cry. But I won't be a helpless damsel again, I'm ready to fight back this time.

It was nearly nightfall when I spotted it, a large bird circling around an area, and if there's a bird, there's water. At least that's what some book I read told me. Running as fast as I could over the sand, I managed to reach a large overflowing river and as I kneeled down to sip from the water, I was greeted with a large bronze spear.

"_Now translating. Ancient Egyptian located in cloud... loading..._" Came a voice somewhere in the back of my mind.

"Halt commoner!" Cried a loud voice undoubtedly holding said spear at my face.

"_Since when do people use spears as a weapon instead of a gun?"_

Since about 800 B.C.

As I stood trying to be as non-threatening as possible, I smiled and replied, "You guys wouldn't happen to have any water bottles on you would you?"

*~TheBlueRacoon~*

As I passed through the city I noticed they were all dressed in tunics and had funny looking houses.

"_Maybe the Egyptians like to LARP?"_

Pathetic I know, and at the time, Time Travel seemed _way_ less likely than that pathetic excuse for an explanation.

"Keep your head down prisoner!" Said the spear-happy guard behind me.

In case you're wondering, yes I tried to escape, and no, I wasn't successful. Unless your definition of 'successful' is beaten up, kicked around and told to come with him if I could still stand. All within one minute. Then I was successful, now go grab a dictionary and look up the word. But I was glad to see that his jaw was hurting him at least.

"_Take that you stupid jackal."_

The guy didn't need armor, he had a layer of pure muscle that not even bullets can penetrate. It was like punching a brick wall encased in a layer of steel and diamond. As I seethed in silence, and took in the local sights. Tons of simplistic houses surrounded a long brick road which led to a large ornate palace made of some kind of white marble and was relatively open so breezes could come through and cool off the inhabitants of the palace on hot days. As I marched on, I noticed a bunch of commotion near the front of the palace, a clump of people were gathered around a platform where a scrawny raccoon was losing a battle. Punch after punch came and went, but he never tired, until at last, I watched him fall each time with a feeling impending doom.

And the worst part? I was walking/being convinced at spear point straight toward that platform.

"_Let's hope that being beaten up is the worst they do to me..."_

"The reign of Slytankamen the Second has ended!" Came a voice from the platform. "Hail me, your savior from the armies of Rome! Hail me, your hero who fended off the thieves of this city with one blow!"

"_Well somebody's full of themselves."_

And it gets worse, a _cheer_ came from the crowd. They were _happy _this guy was making stuff up! Not that I would know, history was very boring and a good place to make up for lost nap time. What's really funny is I got an A on the final.

"And I, your humble pharaoh will never steal from the nobles of this city! I am here for equality-"

"You lie!" Came a beaten voice, weak and trying to find some kind of weapon. "He is nothing but a pretender! A liar!"

"And yet you still do not deny the fact you have stolen this statue?" And a golden glint flew through the air, and I saw it as the statue I had stolen only a few hours ago.

But... that doesn't make sense. I personally saw that it was taken in! And I'm pretty sure that he was arrested for some... crimes I may or may not have planted in his office before the heist... but at least these were true crimes! The poor guy must have been blamed for the disappearance or, or something! I guess you could say that this moment was where it clicked, but I would only give it a half-click due to a familiar face now marching forward, a doberman with a wicked scar, giant muscles, and a face not even his mother could love unconditionally.

You guessed it, Mr. Vile. Which, by the way, may or may not be a pseudonym for an Albert Egglebert. So, the time traveling theory got tossed out the window for a few hours, but thankfully, it would be pelted back at me like balloons full of bees. Before I get too carried away with smiles -at least I think that's what they're called, stupid late night practices- I should also state who stood up from that brutal beating.

None other than my ancestor from ancient Egypt, Slytankamen the Second.

*~TheBlueRacoon~*

Hiding my face as best as I could, I tried to keep a low profile. Not easy when about five guards are taking you to see Pharaoh Vile, savior who hailed from Gan-Su Chin-an. Not exactly the brightest bulbs in the box. Somewhere in my mind, I knew that if Egyptians liked to LARP, then they would probably be talking about dragons... or something. Nor would they happen to be able to create this feeling in my gut that said that the poor guy who had just been beaten up and I were related. I'm not saying that I knew his name right off the bat, but it sounded quicker than wow-its-that-guy-in-the-hieroglyph-on-that-dusty-old-tome-I-should-know-him-but-I-really-don't. Again, I'll just save you some time and dashes. Also, some rambly names that I'm not even sure how I decided I would call him that. I also got punched for one of them, but I have no idea why.

"Step forward." He sounded bored. Maybe if I played this right I could- "Rei Cooper." Not a question, a statement that probably would've killed me on the spot with all the venom it contained.

"No, it's Aya Eglbert. Who is this Rei you speak of?" The mention of the last name turned the huge scar red and it started to throb. Considering it went across his face and was thicker than my pinky finger I nearly vomited on his royal highness' very expensive rug. Which I was also tempted to steal, but I cannot stress how much I held back pickpocketing half of the city as well, trying to keep myself from punching the smug look off his ugly face. I also cannot stress how much of an idiot he looks in a skirt and cone hat. "Besides, where did you get that freaking ugly statue from before? It simply looks smashing with that bit of blood from that one guy from before."

_"What am I? British now? 'Smashing' is not a word I should ever use in normal conversation. EVER."_

"Only you could point out a stupid statue after watching me beat your ancestor senseless." With this he apparently tried to do the thing in movies where he drums his fingers against each other, however he missed every time, which is quite a feat considering his fat fingers, and merely crossed them instead. "Wait..." He sat up and looked closely at me, and signaled for the buffoon guards to -with extra force- shove me closer to his royal highness' stink. "Where's that scar? I _gave_ you that scar dammit! Don't tell me you... removed it you vain-" He called me a rather nasty word because of this mysterious ghost-scar I supposedly removed.

"What scar you creeper?" I asked his when he stopped holding my face and moving my jaw with his hand.

He then muttered something about time and how stupid it is, then turned his back to me to think about it. Wait. Why would he even know how to time travel? I of course used this time to run away, seeing how the guards had backed up when he had leaned in. I quickly ran to the nearest window and launched myself out of it, seeing how the palace was mostly full of holes to keep the occupants from turning into little mummies _before_ their burials it makes sense. But at the time was thinking about what he said.

_"Only you could point out a stupid statue after watching me beat your ancestor senseless." _Two things, one, he knew me personally and had a grudge. Two, I wasn't in Kansas anymore Toto. I should hold off on making references to movies that won't exist for at least a couple thousand years before the camera or _movies_ were invented. As I quickly touched down in the hot sand, I realized I had forgotten one very crucial element to my plan.

Shoes.

"Hot sand! Oooh oo hot sand ouch!" I yelled a little too loudly outside the window of the place I had just escaped from. "Ah ah!" Somewhere from inside the palace, a hand shot out and grabbed me by the back of my shirt and hauled me right back into the main chamber room. "That feels much better thank you-" And that was when Mr. Vile hurled me into the wall behind him.

"_That makes it official. I hate Egypt."_

"I know what to do with you now!" He said this like an excited child who had just used the potty for the first time. "I'll kill you here and now and save me the trouble for killing you later!" He was now leaning over me, murderous intent clear in those dim eyes. "I knew Avio was right in sending me back! I could stop the crazyness before it starts!"

I might be dealing with a version of him that hates me very very much. From what it sounded like, and fill in the pieces as we go along here, he's a time traveler too. From the future it looks like, and I have made him very mad at me. I don't think I missed anything except what the _hell _did this guy named Avio have to do with this?

"I hate to break it to you, but wouldn't I escape, seeing how future me did that to you? Also, if I died now, I wouldn't be around to make you hate me later and you wouldn't kill me or be here now." Logic. The large thug's only weakness. That was when I got in a shot below the belt, giving it all the strength I had left after being thrown into a wall and being beaten up all in one day. Which means, not much. I had completely missed, and hit the guard next to him. Don't ask me how, but I did. Needless to say it completely butchered my escape plan. "Can I get a do-over please?" I asked very pathetically.

He just smiled and raised is large and possibly fatal fist up high, and was about to cause to collide with my skull when a funny looking tan ferret ran in looking visibly distressed.

"Sir! The commoners are protesting your rule! If you don't put them in line soon, they might revolt!" Imagine a popular high-pitched cartoon character, only take that and add an Egyptian accent and a slight lisp, and you got this guys voice to a t. I kid you not, that is absolutely accurate. "Sir! You cannot execute a commoner here!" I let out a sigh relief. "If she has committed a crime, we shall look upon Hammurabi's Code and see the proper way to deal with her crime." Oh sure, the _one time_ I'm innocent, I get to be at the mercy of some guy's code.

I hope its not that eye for an eye one I vaguely remember from history class.

"All right then..." Vile paused a moment to think. And I could almost see the smoke from his unused brain flowing out of both ears.

"What if we sacrificed her sir? We need to sacrifice someone to a god to appease them. Ra has been particularly neglected, what if we-" I could imagine this guy as the one person in the whole outfit to hold the rules on a sheet of paper in front of his face and state them to the entire criminal organization.

"Perfect, what time should we do that? I'm thinking dawn, but I don't know if Ra would like it at dusk..." They sound like they're organizing some dinner party, not my brutal sacrifice to the god Ra.

"Dawn would work best, after all, after Ra's journey to the Underworld, I'm pretty sure he would appreciate a good sacrifice." The ferret amended.

"Okay, I know you ladies are excited about my sacrifice, but can you plan it later?" The only reason I wasn't trying to escape again was the fact that I would no doubt only repeat my performance, and not get very far simply because I would melt before I even ran a foot out the city. "I'm getting bored and might steal your rug or something."

"_I really wish I could simply slap that smiling idiot's smile off his stupid face."_

With that he signaled to his guards to drag me. They grabbed me and made sure that I couldn't walk by holding me so that only the tips of my toes touched the ground and took me to the dungeon. I'm still not sure why I was happy at that moment, just that the thoughts that would follow were not as cheerful.

"You're here, enjoy the sunrise." It was curt, to the point, and more importantly, punctuated with my face hitting the other side of the wall.

I tried to reply but he had left me alone. In a cell. In Ancient Egypt. Would I ever get home? Not impossible, but how would I warp back? I lacked the machine Bryce had been working on, and I doubted that they would come. That mysterious person probably broke the machine. If I did get back, could I fix problems of history, like some kind of time thief? No, knowing me, I would only end up creating one hell of a butterfly effect. But... what if I could stop Ceyla? Would that make everything better? Or would it only make everything worse?

I could save him. I could save them both. I kept seeing that moment where he answered the door and... snap. No more to add to the Thievious Raccoonus for him. No more to add to her file. I was alone at age ten. Kenji had probably run out of the house, and I never saw him again until three months ago.

Then there was Jia. I... I should have done something. I should have gone after her killers. I would make them pay. I could still feel that cold red liquid between my finger when I remember when I tried to save her. I couldn't even see that place she was buried, even as close to where she was put to rest when I stole that statue. The police were watching it now. And through some kind of lack of will, I couldn't even come close in disguise because I would only break down in agony.

Why did they have to die? Are Coopers and anyone close to them just targets? I moved around to get comfortable on the stone floor and a large tome, twice disassembled, twice stitched back together, fell out of the bag I still had. I gingerly picked it up, holding it in my hands, trying to understand why. After a few seconds, I flipped it open to my father's handwriting. Some notes, a letter to me, and a large margin of pages I saw that told me his life. All that pain, sorrow, excitement, thrill, written down on just ten pages. A last link to the past that I had with him, and her. Mom's file had nothing but data. Arrests, physiology profile, some notes from her overseer but that was it. Nothing more than a name on a file and a picture. I guess family loss is genetic, because here I am without parents, like Dad, and a father killed like Mom.

I sighed, but read only the early chapters on Slytankamen the Second rather than continue the angst fest. He first created the Shadow Techniques, one to stand still that look like it was written early on, and the second described one where you could walk invisibly, but was written by someone else. Hard to imagine someone naturally turning invisible in a time where radio hadn't even been invented yet. I guess I also have that ability, but I only ever turn pink or blue-white. Not quite invisible, unless I'm in a room full of dolls or against the sky.

_"Upon concentration, one can meld against the elements, hidden from view."_ It said, in that scrawly writing translating the hieroglyphs. _"One could focus long enough in one spot, but I have yet to discover a way to move along invisible using this technique."_

_ "_Good luck with that buddy. I can't even stay in one spot and do that." I mumbled uselessly to myself.

I quickly shut the book and slumped against the wall. I had been leaning forward over the book, but all I managed to do was cause my back to ache. They could have given me a pillow, I could care less if it was stone, I wanted something I could scream into. It was like I had been sent into some cheesy show from the eighties. Get back to the future before everyone dies, but the hero doesn't look like she's in a phone booth on her way right now.

"Grahh!" I screamed to the ceiling. "This is stupid!"

"Would you be quiet over there? Some of us are trying to sleep." I rolled my eyes, but the voice couldn't see that. When no reply came, it came quieter. "I'm sorry it came to this. I never used to do sacrifices when I was in charge. Not that it mattered."

"It matters to me. Who am I talking with anyway?" Before you ask, the translator works both ways, if I haven't mentioned this before.

"In the dungeon until I die." A pause before he asked, "You have a strange... what's the word...?"

"Accent? I'm from..." Don't say france don't say france... "Francia..." Smooth. Like someone hit me on the head with a broom.

"Fren-cia? I have never heard of this town. I guess you might know the 'Pharaoh'," if I could see him, I could almost see the way he spit out the word. "Your acc-ents sound alike."

"You could say that." I was drawing a line in the dirt on my floor with my toe.

"Ah, I almost forgot stranger. My name is-" But he was interrupted by the guard rattling his spear on the door.

"Shut up, the both of ya! I've 'alf a mind to kill ya right now!" Judging from the accent, it looks like a certain _someone_ brought some lackies from London, twenty first century.

And I thought that _I _was making a mess of the time line.

"_I remember a time when things were straight-forward. When I stole things and I didn't have to worry about letting a butterfly die or something stupid."_

I piled up the dust in one corner, and simply tried to sleep. But as usual, I never get very much sleep when a job's on the line.

A snatch of me stealing a guard's shoes, a glimpse of me slapping Pharaoh Vile -at which I tried to do a fist pump at-, and a black rock floating there was the end of it all. I stood in a completely blank white area, facing a rock so black that the air around it was slowly turning black and being sucked in. Every sense I had was on fire, so hot I could barely move, a taste so bitter that I nearly vomited, a noise with such a loud high-pitched noise I nearly cried and my vision was locked onto the rock. The only sense left was smell, and I couldn't smell anything as much as I tried. But I was trapped, unable to stop the noise, and unable to scream for help.

A long black tendril came out of the rock like a chick hatching from an egg. It slowly came closer, closer, until it grabbed me, and it felt like I was on fire. I just watched helplessly as pain exploded around me when it grabbed me. I couldn't even make a Hentai joke about it, that how bad it was. A giant mouth opened in the middle of the black rock. Everything was painstakingly slow, but just before one of my feet touched the monster's teeth, I woke up.

Vile had opened my door, and was smiling.

"Well, sleeping thief, good morning. Are you ready to be sacrificed to the almighty god Ra this morning?" If I had a collar to be hot under, I would have moved it to get some air.

I'm not honestly sure which I was more afraid of. The fact that I was about to die, or that dream. Either way, I'm in the fire now. No way back to the frying pan.


	3. Enter the Slytunkamen Again

Rei Cooper: The Great Time Theft

Chapter Three: Enter the Slytunkamen... Again.

"Hehe! I got you!" Came a very childish voice. "You should have seen that look on your face! It was hilarious." At last I got to see my prankster, a small raccoon of about twelve wearing a white skirt and stupid white hat. "Hehe, you're such a strange raccoon! You wear silly clothing, and can't take a joke."  
"I can too take a joke!" I snapped back.  
I'll let you know I'm freaking hilarious. I once put water balloons in Bryce's room and we both laughed about it for a few weeks. Okay, maybe it was _at_ me and not the joke... but it was still funny. I never got past the front door unfortunately, stupid alarm system, stupid net. As I watched the raccoon, I saw his tunic was torn and his left eye was swollen shut. He was also favoring his left arm and trying to laugh while hiding a broken rib. This poor kid was probably the one I saw on the platform earlier. Well, Vile sure knew how to rough him up.  
"Well, we're not going anywhere for a few hours. Do try and tell me one." He said as he sat down on the stone floor.  
"...Uh..." I started, trying to come up with one. "There once was an Egyptian and a blind man...?"  
"That's a terrible joke." He told me.  
"Well why don't you tell _me_ one?" I snapped. He wasn't as impressed by my outburst as I had hoped.  
"Because I am king!" He had that bratty sort of childish voice when he told me this. "Or I am supposed to be. I made a mistake, but how am I supposed to follow in my Father's footsteps? They all expect so much from me..."  
Talk about a sudden turnaround. "Hey, you know, you can do things your way. Who needs Dads right?" _I_ did. Alone and scared, he had left me what seemed to be forever ago. But we've had enough angst and drama thus far and I won't delve into that again.  
"Problem is, I don't know _how_ to do things my own way. I... I stole from the wrong people I think." He said. Who did he steal from? Already anticipating the answer, I pleaded, not peasants, please say not peasants. "I stole from the poor."  
My reaction was measured and calm. "_What do you mean you stole from the poor?! _That's, that's like kicking a puppy or eating small children! You don't do that!" Okay, I lied about the measured and calm part. "So that's why they're mad at you? You stole some stuff from the poor. Just give it back."  
"I cannot. It was a tiny statue in a temple, however, the new 'Pharaoh' has taken it from me."  
"What. You stole from a _temple_? That wasn't the best move." I told him. Seriously, who steals from a _temple?_ First of all, you steal from prats who've earned it. Like muggers. Muggers are rude and filthy. Same with guards. Most of all you want to make sure to rob them after they've beaten someone up. That's when-"

Slytunkamen raised his hand like a child in school. "What's a mugger?"

"That's, that's like stealing from some poor man who finally found some soup or something." I explained quickly. "Start from the beginning. I have time, and will die come morning anyway. I won't spread some family secret around." I mostly said this to bail out of the explaination as to what muggers were. I would be terrible with the secret though. Except I was part of that family... time travel is complex.

He took a breath. "Well, I guess it starts with my father again. Years before I was born there was a tyrant Pharaoh who stole all the gold from everyone though these insidious things he called... taxes. A terrifying name, don't you agree? Something that inspires fear in even the mightiest of warriors!"  
I rolled my eyes at this. Get on with it already kid.  
He must have sensed my irritation because he quickly slid back to his story. "Anyway, very few people could pay these taxes. Soon, they were being jailed for it, since they couldn't sate the pharaoh's enormous appetite for gold, and my father was soon taken to the palace after refusing to pay up after a few years of knocking out the tax collector. It wasn't surprising that he was soon summoned to the pharaoh's presence. This had been when he was my age, he had struck out on his own and somehow managed to draw his attention towards him. My father, who had no job or other way to support himself, was a thief."

"_Maybe it's genetic, being a thief."_

"Naturally he stole things to support himself and to purchase food." Slytunkamen went on.

"Couldn't he just _get_ a job? Work as a stonemason or something?" I asked,wondering if normal peasant men just go and steal if they don't have a job.

"There had been no other way for him to live." Slytunkamen ignored me. "When he was brought in front of the pharaoh, it was only natural that he looted a statue from the pharaoh. My father was inclined to keep the statue as prize, but instead sold it and gave the money to the people. Soon, he began to make regular visits to the palace, and each time he would grab more and more treasure until the pharaoh challenged him on the street, wanting the gold back."

"And he wasn't expecting this to happen? I just keep expecting him to have a back up plan." I said, butting in while he was explaining.

"My father naturally upped the stakes, telling the pharaoh that if my father lost then Father would return the gold, all of it. Which, considering he sold it, would be nearly impossible. The pharaoh smiled, laughing at the foolish raccoon, that is, until my father said that if the pharaoh lost then the pharaoh would give his throne to him. This was hilarious to the pharaoh, a mere mortal challenging him for his position. He, whose position had been given to him by Ra himself!"

"Yup. Egotistical. Was totally expecting that." I commented again.

"He accepted both outcomes, and shook hands with my father to seal the deal. My father would fight him in one week. The pharaoh laughed and drank and partied through the whole preparation, and did not care how the outcome was, but certain that he would win. What he didn't know was that my father had a technique he had worked his whole life on. The Shadow technique." Slytunkamen took a pause here, as if wanting to slow down and savor the drama.  
However, I used the time to think. This story was clearly too well woven to be made up. In fact, there were tidbits in there about Slytunkamen's life that the Thievius Raccoonus never mentioned and I suspect skipped over the boring parts, as some were untouched by the translator's notes. Sad, that the very first Cooper had never so much as been mentioned as a petty thief turned Robin Hood. Odd, perhaps I would add that in later. Then again, what if I altered my past so much that I never met the Slytunkamens?  
However, though the question nagged at me, I refused to allow myself to think that not saving my father would result in my adventures or even being the Rei Cooper I am right now.  
"The Shadow technique hadn't been perfected by then," Slytunkamen the Second continued. "So my father practiced into the night, and did not master it until the seventh night. When my father told me this story, he said he was so tired there were three pharaohs, wavering and wobbling like a mirage in the desert. My father waited for the fight to start, however, it had started about ten minutes in when it dawned upon him that the fight had started and the pharaoh was waiting for him to strike first. My father did not, and the pharaoh took his swing at him instead of wait any longer. My father snapped out of his daze when he saw the punch coming and nimbly dodged out of the way, my father told him that the fist grazed his whiskers, any closer and he would have been down for the count. My father quickly ran up to the pharaoh, and stood still, having not figured out how to sneak about with it on all the time. The pharaoh was confused, and searched for my father, and unknowingly turned his back to my father, who pounced upon the pharaoh's back and nimbly remained there until the pharaoh himself punched himself out. When the pharaoh was kneeling at my father's feet, he refused to give up his title. However, at that moment Ra decided to shine a beam of light upon the victor, and the people chanted for him to be in power.  
"Faced with defeat and reassured of my father's chosen ability to reign, the pharaoh handed over his crown. My father ruled over Egypt for years, only passing away this last year and leaving me in charge. I didn't know how to rule the way he did, and started to steal from vile people like he had done. I guess the beggars in the street were not as evil as I had hoped." Slytunkamen finished and I allowed the boy to sit and think for a moment.  
I was thinking as well, trying to best describe evil to my ancestor. "Evil... evil is something to be interpreted. However, the way I've seen it thus far, is the easiest path. The path to untold riches and laid with bodies."  
Slytunkamen's eyes widened at the mention of dead people, but remained silent.  
I quickly tried to think up an example. "If you wanted a new..." I wanted to say toy, but did they even have them back in this time. At this point I had given up trying to deny it. Bryce would be the kind of person to invent a time machine. "Gold... brick necklace. Would you just take it from the store?"  
I could see the question in his eyes. "What's a store?"  
"Um. Like a market stall." I explained. "But bigger."  
He nodded and wanted me to continue.  
"Anyway, evil. Evil is kinda odd because it could be a huge as destroying a whole town on a whim to simply not helping someone who needs it. I think your father was the kind to target the former. The huge acts of evil. In fact, I think it's even more challenging to steal from the bad guys because they always go the extra mile. They always have the carnivorous sponge traps, they keep out the police. They always are on the razor's edge, and I enjoy pushing them over it." I said, then realized that he was understanding _everything _that I was saying, and vice versa.  
Instead of realizing my translation software in my mask was clearly at work, I decided that it clearly wasn't worth thinking over just yet. In fact, I was back at thinking that everyone was seriously messed up in the head and faking their whole personas. Someone had clearly heard of Slytunkamen and maybe even looked like him. Oooh, he was a good actor. I still had to get home. Still, I had to admit Mr. Vile couldn't have formed those new scars in a day, no one could. Makeup, it was possible.  
"Wait... how did you get in here anyway?" I asked, noticing that he had appeared to have come from nowhere. "The door was locked before I'm pretty sure."  
"Oh, I stole the key." He answered innocently. "Or was he good too?"  
"Just get me out." And I mentally added, _So I can go home and forget about all this_. With that he stood and unblocked the exit, the guard had fallen asleep, or was conked on the head. Given that we had spent twenty minutes talking about our pasts, I was willing to bet that he was out and wasn't coming back for a while. "Wait... you were conning me weren't you?"  
"What? What is, a 'conning' as you say? I know not the word. I had merely gotten caught up in talking with you. We are close, like family." He smiled, and when he put on that face I was forced to jellify under his gaze.

My stomach did a flip-flop and I'm still uncertain how I knew that it was at that moment how I knew he was family. However, I'd like to think that it was that smile. That assuring smile that you give to cousins that you always get into trouble with. Identical twins who switched with each other for whole school days, the list goes on and on. However, my gut said very distinctly that this was my family. It was my gut that I had to trust, the only thing that I had to trust without restrictions, without ceasing in belief for even a moment. Then again, my gut has led me into situations like this.

"It's nothing." Now that he was -at least to my digestive juices- confirmed as my family, I didn't think he was pretending about it anymore. I was simply hoping that I was right and that nothing was wrong with trusting him. "But we were escaping right? We should get back to that right away."  
"Uh, won't they catch you?" The little snot -by which I mean my realative- asked. "You're not sneaky like me. they busted you when you entered the city. I mean, you dress funny! Why would you wear so much, you'd melt out there on the dunes!"

"Well, we can't all dress like we're half naked." I replied. "Besides, why not? I could totally sneak past the guards. You know, if they weren't all out to kill me on sight." I wimped out when I noticed the guard was starting to move about, okay? "But first we run. We get the hell out of dodge!"

"But-" He was interrupted by my grabbing of his arm and hauling him out the jail cell. He wasn't going to make another crack about how not sneaky I was. I mean, the little snot didn't have a teacher, just his Dad's stories.  
That and I was still angry that he could pull of the Shadow Technique and I couldn't. The kid was younger than me, and he looked as though he had barely hit ten! _Ten_! Here I was, twenty or so years old -Coma time leaves a lot to be desired, let me tell you that- and I couldn't even manage the oldest art from our family whereas Dad probably had it down pat first try.  
As we ran down the hall his continued complaints about his treatment were mostly ignored and and I proceeded to follow my own stubborn streak until it ran me smack dab back into the throne room where it had been emptied and apparently was currently being cleaned. Or the ladies in here just liked to avoid the Pharaoh when he was out. Either way, there was screaming and flinging of clothes that had been loose on the floor.  
The Pharaoh's a real bachelor that way I suppose.

"_These tunics smell like gym socks..."_

Just as I pried the crusty shorts off my head, another one was lobbed and I narrowly avoided getting another biohazardous item thrown at my face when I realized that I wasn't holding Slytunkamen's arm anymore. I was about to scream when my gut told me to look at the women around the throne from before. And there was the little tyke -remember that he is _ten_- flirting with the women, and mentioning something about how lovely he was to be with.  
"Time out! We're escaping remember?" I hissed at him, creeping around the shorts from before. "Let's get moving before someone comes and discovers we're out!" My voice was like a snake's, quiet, and trying to not bite the stupid boy.  
"But they know the quickest way out don't they?" Slytunkamen answered, cool as a cucumber while he was being stroked by one of the women. "I'm almost certain that if we stay here long enough that we shall discover that they know exactly how to leave... join me Sir."  
I don't really remember exactly what happened next, but it was clear when I had opened my mouth I had been offended by his statement. I tried to piece together what I said, but this is more or less a rough guess of what exactly I said. "Do I look like a man? Do I _sound_ like a man?" I remember for sure that my eye had been twitching.  
"You act like a seventeen year old man, so I thought you were one. Unless you _like _being a girl, on the inside at least." The snot asked. "You couldn't be able to do any of that stuff!"  
"I am twenty years old and apparently your babysitter now! Get off her lap right now or I'll be forced to kick you off myself!" I threatened, my anger levels reaching a new all time high. "We're escaping, not having some sort of... show!" I snapped.  
"Oh, but I happen to like this show. Makes me laugh at cha." Said a very, very familiar voice directly behind me. It just so happened to belong to a very large, very angry pharaoh that I had half-hoped was asleep. "I was just dreaming about your execution, and here I am, being woken up by all this yelling!"  
Have I mentioned that I have an issue with my mouth running faster and often times louder than it really should? Or that I have an issue with rage? Maybe I could start going to some of those 'Anger Management' sessions that Bryce keeps insisting on. It would certainly help at times like this, where my anger and mouth had gotten the best of me. "Would it make you feel better if I was trying to apprehend this vile criminal and was going back to my cell when you walked in?"  
"No. that actually makes me want to fire my guards." Vile then strolled up to me and started to try and punch my lights out. Unfortunately for him, I was faster on the uptake, and was already set to dodge the oncoming fist that was Vile.  
I twisted around, pivoting on my toes and using the air displaced by his fist to spin around it. Only when I reached his elbow did I notice that he had scraped my cheekbone, and that it was just bleeding enough to register that my cheek was wet with blood. At his armpit, I was so close to him that I could smell his rancid breath, and I knew that the fur on my face curled ever so slightly from the encounter. "Good gracious, have you brushed your teeth?" When he grinned and showed me those yellow -with green flecks that I'm sure were once vegetables- tombstones, I held back the bile building in my throat. "And I take that as a no. Open wide, and I'm sure that you could kill with a smile." I said, ducking below his fist with a well-timed split.  
"Hold still dammit!" Vile yelled, trying to bring his arm down to squish me.  
"Um no, I rather like being alive." I rolled out of the way, tucking my head down and keeping my legs out flat. Once on the other side of Vile, I did a handstand without my head on the floor, trying to remain mobile. "Upside down, you still look like an idiot."

"_And I'm going to be a squished idiot if I don't start duct-taping my mouth shut."_

Suddenly, I remembered that the first ever line of Coopers was up on the throne. Snuggling with harlots and probably now in Vile's sights. Time travel is stupid, not even once kids.  
"Slytunkamen! Now!" I yelled, hoping that Vile would anticipate a surprise attack and cower just long enough for me to vault over him and haul the pair of us to safety. Which he did. Pushing the floor with all my strength, I landed on my feet and ran back just far enough to get a decent speed up. Once I was close enough, I slid under Vile, right between his legs.  
And before you ask, I closed my eyes before I discovered whether or not Vile had underwear on under the skirt.  
Not that I was aiming to see that anyway. Once I was out on the other side I was up on my feet once more. I ran to the throne, but it was empty, and Slytankamen was nowhere to be seen. I spent a second too long there, and was suddenly hitching a ride on Vile's fist for a moment, and getting a face full of wall the next. The strength behind that fist had staying power, as I remained glued to the wall for just long enough to miss the whole mini-fight, 'mini' because I heard a 'No' then a smack, and I was on the floor. I wasn't sure where I was at first, but then I remembered exactly who I was and my legs weren't moving and my head hurt.  
"You're so green that I'd bet you're nothing yet. I can't wait to see you die tomorrow morning." Vile said. It sounded as though he was underwater and very far away. I managed to move my head to see him, and I could figure out which Vile was the real one. It was almost as if there were two in the room, and I knew it was only because I was concussed.  
It happens often, so I ought to know what that feels like now. I said, in a very shaky and uneven tone, "And I can't wait to see the look on your face when I escape being sacrificed..." I had used up all of my remaining thoughts on that quip, and fell limply to the floor. I just remember that as my head hit, I didn't feel any pain. Rather, it felt like I was falling asleep again. A sort of thud was the only sound I heard before I could feel myself lose control.  
I opened my eyes in a completely white room, devoid of sound or color, I thought it was real. Except for the low ringing, which wasn't bothering me yet, but the rock was there again. There wasn't any tentacle or anything, but that side of the room was visibly darker. I tried to scoot away, but my hands refused to budge, and I noticed that I was tied up to a chair. My hands were tied with wrist over wrist, and the wall behind me was within reach of the right hand. As I tried to struggle, a dull pain in my left upper arm became more and more apparent until I was forced to look back. It was as though all my senses had dulled, I hadn't even noticed that arm was trapped against another wall. My left arm was suddenly feeling cramped and more painful than before. As I struggled, I realized that my feet were free, and I could have simply stood.  
Except when I did the ringing was so much louder that I winced at the noise. It felt as though my eardrums were being blasted by noise, but I persevered. The rock began to move, twitching violently and soon the whole wall behind it was covered in the inky black material. The best I can do is describe it like obsidian, except that what was reflected back wasn't what you would normally expect out of a reflective surface.  
I found myself transfixed by the image of Paris.  
"Bryce, we could save everyone, I could have a normal childhood!" I argued, or rather, OtherMe -as I've taken to calling her- argued. "We could have real parents Bryce!"  
"Rei, if we do that, then none of this will have ever happened. None of it, you would never have become a thief, or even tried to become a real Cooper. Your Father was in the exact same position, Rei." OtherBryce replied.  
"Bryce, we could stop murders, save lives! Hell, we could kill Hitler!" OtherMe replied.  
"Rei, I'm shutting down the machine." Bryce replied. "Permanently, and I'm burning the schematics. You're insane! If we change the timeline, we could ruin this time stream, create paradoxes." OtherBryce countered, moving towards the screen. He was getting bigger, and as he picked it up, I moved with it. Suddenly the ground was so far away from where I was in my box. "Don't try and stop me."  
I felt the room lurch forward, and I was flung back into the wall with the chair that I had just escaped from. I was sitting down once more trapped by the mere bindings as I watched as the room was about to smashed by OtherBryce. However, my fall started to slow down, and I was filled with an inexplicable fear that I was about to crash face first into the black rock. It was something I shouldn't touch, a poison. Thinking quickly, I slipped out of my chair and let it land on the black rock. Soon, I was standing on top of the chair, feet secure on the odd surface. I was smug until the room moved slowly back up and revealed OtherMe's eyes.  
Instead of the usual brown eyes staring back, as I had been expecting, I saw instead two black orbs, just like the rock, with only pinpricks of light showing through enough to tell me that OtherMe was looking right into the room. "It doesn't matter in the end. I'll fix everything. I'll end all the suffering." I was moved around a bit, and a blood stained knife met my eyes. Even if it was reality, I think I would still do that same thing.

"_Dream. It's a dream!"_

I was screaming now, but I hadn't realized that the chair was being devoured by the black rock. Small black tentacles were reaching up, and they looked like small black capillaries on the stark light brown of the chair. One reached my boot, and my entire body went cold. I managed to pull my foot away, but I was on a sinking island. The chair was gone now, and I felt as though my feet were sinking into an ice bath. I could feel myself changing.

"_I could save him."_

My eyes widened, and I was only faintly worried. That little voice in the back of my head was screaming, "_Don't you dare!"_  
"I could save Dad... I could stop Clock-la..." I smiled, starting to laugh insanely as I was left as nothing but a head as I was sinking. The cold wasn't bothering me anymore, but now I was happy. When the darkness reached my chin, I snapped out of it. I couldn't feel my arms, it was as if they never existed at all.  
Another voice boomed, "You would never exist if you did that Rei..." It had been OtherBryce's voice. Had. As in, past tense. OtherMe killed that Bryce, and now that version of me had access to the time machine he had invented. Or was it a chance for her to exist? My mouth was covered now, and I was strained keeping my nose above the darkness. OtherMe laughed, an ominous laugh that chilled me enough to startle wake.  
When I woke, my head throbbed, but I could feel it now. My breath came out ragged and quick. I swallowed, just to see if I could. I held my hand to my throat, realizing that I wouldn't have a future like that much longer. It was sun up, and as they put it: Ra needed a sacrifice as he returned from the underworld.  
And I wasn't going to be it.

* * *

'Allo! Welcome to another Rei Cooper chapter guys! It took forever. Glad it's finished and now I can work on the next one.

Sly Cooper = Sucker Punch

Rei = Me

Don't get the two confused, kay?

This idea was up waaaayyyy before I heard about Sly 4, and um... yeah. Drop a review below, tips, chastisement, maybe a follow with a review? Or don't. Whichever.

To Rei Cooper not being dead!


End file.
